Can you make a goal to become someone else?
I've used goal setting as a way to take charge of my life so I could become better... better like the others. (You know, all the people killing it at life.) Have you been there? Setting a goal out of fear that your life will never unfold quite right if you don't "take charge" of it?
The biggest frustration with it all was that no matter how many self help books I read on achievement, no matter how organized I was, how minimal I lived, how much I wrote down my goals, prayed, journaled, and pushed to achieve then, it never felt good; and often I'd forget about the goal altogether. Only to find the goal written on a notecard inside a book I never finished reading... oops.
So what changed?
How did I go from frantic goal-setting mode into a healthy, balanced relationship with setting goals?
I got help.
No, no, not help achieving the goals.
I mean real help. (from a professional.)
Turns out, wanting to achieve goals in order to become like someone else isn't the healthiest state of mind to live in. My comparison, shame, guilt for who I was, dissatisfaction with my own life, and jealousy over the successes of others were not issues that could be cured by setting goals OR achieving them.
I spent 6 months without setting goals. I saw a counselor and a life coach and decided to become the best version of myself I could be, which meant healing from the past, accepting who I am, developing healthy friendships, and learning to use my strengths. I'm still on the beautiful journey, only now I'm more me than I've ever been, and it feels great.
I'm back to setting goals too! Only this time they are heart-aligned.
Now, each new goal I create ads to my life and comes from a place of abundance, not fear of what will happen if I don't achieve them.
My current goals finally feel good because I am living with intention.
At our last gathering, Kate and Emma both touched on intentional living and becoming the person of your dreams while going after your goals. Every step in the journey is a part of the process. Every day of shooting your arrow at your target, even if you miss, is a step in the right direction.
No matter that looks like for you right now, you are in a perfect position to take the next step, to aim at your target and shoot.
Being intentional isn't just about achieving the big things, it's about taking steps in the right direction. Your first step to intentional living may be healing, like me. And that's okay, in fact, it may be the most important step of all.